Attempting to Watch Teen Titans Go!
This is part of the Reimu Series fanfiction. Hasn't been finished either The episode begins with Reimu having her head down. Speechless to say her usual opening catchphrase, after a few seconds, she points offscreen, cueing a scene from A Few Good Men Col. Nathan R. Jessup: You fucking people... Back to Reimu, who has her head up Reimu: Teen Titans Go! Where do we begin with it? It first aired in April 2013 and it's the show that gives Cartoon Network the most money, so they play it all the time and move everything else to 6:30 AM on Sundays. The number one show in ratings amongst children 2 to 5. The promos called it "your new favorite show," one of which had Raven say, "No, seriously." afterwards. (rolls her eyes) The movie did good, they even had the Titans in their 2003 designs in the post-credits scene - minus Cyborg's confusingly hot voice there, of course, and Cartoon Network might have a season 6 of the original show coming soon, and Christina Miller will send the OK to cancel this stupid sack of shit. "But Ms. Hakurei," some of you say, "the show perfectly fits the chaotic nature of Gensokyo. Why don't you like it?" Ahem. As you already know, I have a crush on the DC character Cyborg, who was in the original and is in this one too. They ruined him here. He isn't hot at all. But I digress. I wanna get out of this bad mood and get it over with. Today, I'm going to attempt to watch an entire episode of Toddler Titans No. Footage of Boys vs. Girls, zooming in on Cyborg scratching himself as Reimu screams in the background: Reimu (voiceover): Look at this! Why? Why? If this had been done in the original show or the actual comics, it'd be hot as fuck! Why couldn't this have been done in the original show? Why, why? At least Cyborg there had a sort of sexy voice! Scratch that. His voice there was smoking hot. Reimu: So the episode I chose was "Body Adventure," since the plot is similar to the episode of the original series I watched. I betcha this isn't as good as that one. The inside of Cyborg from the original series episode "Crash" is shown, causing Reimu to drool Reimu: Here we go. I'm never sleeping again. The intro appears, when Puffy AmiYumi say, "Go!" for the last time, Reimu says something sounding like "And." Episode starts Reimu (voiceover): OK, "Body Adventure," here we go. I'm ready. What do you have in store for me? We see the outside of the Titans Tower, where loud sneezes coming from Cyborg have enough force to push a crab off of its mound. Reimu (voiceover): Wha-what? No! Oh, no! Oh- GOD! We see Cyborg being sick and sneezing, and we cut to Reimu flailing around. Reimu: Sneezing is gross! O daiji ni! Ki wo tsukete! (Japanese for bless you) Reimu: OK, if I have to get through this, I have to do it the right way! A clip from the Teen Titans episode "Crash" is shown, where Cyborg wipes his nose with his arm, green mucus is on it afterwards. Cut to Reimu, sighing Reimu: I really needed that. Reimu (voiceover): Oh! GOD! HIS VOICE! If I remember correctly, this is the same guy who voiced him in the Teen Titans cartoon. K-Kay... something... A mouse opens on Google and looks up "Khary Payton," cut to Wikipedia, where the "Yay!" sound plays Reimu (voiceover): Khary Payton. Cyborg coughs again Reimu (voiceover): Actually... his cough's starting to grow on me. I think it's hot. She dubs Cyborg coughing here over the clip from the original cartoon where Cyborg wipes his nose with his arm and green mucus is on it afterwards Reimu: Pretty sexy. Reimu: All right. YING-YANG! (The Burger King mascot quickly appears in front of Reimu, but a quick clip of Cyborg being dislocated causes the Burger King mascot to scream and make a frightened face before dashing off screen) Reimu: COME BACK HERE, YOU COWARD! DON’T LEAVE ME! (Reimu sobs and buries her face into her desk) Reimu: OK, the fact that they're approaching his chest makes me a bit horny. However, there's no head and it turns me off, creeps me out. If his head had stayed on... I'd be horny. Reimu: I...I can't believe I'm saying this, but I... actually like this scene. If his head had stayed on, AND if this had been the original cartoon Cyborg, or Cyborg from the comics, I'd explo~de! I guess he presses a button on his chest and it opens up in order to relieve himself and for the virus to get out of his system? I know, another virus would get in, but at least Cyborg gets pain relief. Now, wait a minute, this is Teen Titans Go! Fuck. Reimu (voiceover): I'm having a hard time fapping to this. (A screen shows "In loving memory of Cyborg 1996-2014") Reimu (voiceover): Hey they did it for me! (The scene is shown again, but with 1980-2013 instead) Reimu: W-we did it! WE WATCHED IT! WE SURVIVED! Kids cheer "Yay!" again, followed by "WASSHOI HORA DA!" Reimu: It ruined Cyborg, made me upset... it even scared the Burger King away, and he’s usually the one scaring other people away! (Sobbing is heard off-screen) Reimu: (looks off-screen camera right) Oh, come on, come on, BK, come out from under the bed. Don’t—eh…(to the camera) He’s crying now. (to the Burger King) No, come on, Teen Titans Go! isn’t here anymore. No, it’s gone. No, come on—Hold on a second. (She gets up to comfort Burger King) Hey, come on, come on, come out from under there. Come on. I’ll get you some McDonald’s. (The Burger King punches Reimu off-screen) AHH! Sorry. Back on camera Reimu: How am I gonna forget about this shitstorm? Why, this, of course! Love Talkin' ~Honey It's You~ by Tatsuro Yamashita plays over a montage of Cyborg in the original Teen Titans cartoon, Justice League: Doom, a few clips of DC Super Heroes, and some comics. At the lines "Yoru mo nemurenu hodo" and "Hajimete no hi kara sa," Reimu sings along. After the song ends Reimu: It worked. Cyborg has been no longer ruined. Come here, husbando! (turns to the camera) I'm Reimu Hakurei, a miko who remembers it, because you don't. (runs off screen) Credits Channel Awesome Tagline -- "You fucking people." Category:Fanfiction Category:Fan works Category:Reimu Series